Numb.

I feel numb. I feel like I'm not even here in this world but that I am watching everyone around me go through life easily and happily. I hate this feeling and I'm sure the people around me hate it, too. You know that part in every movie where there is no music and no sound, just the main character narrating about his/her problems and what they need to do to fix it? I am at that point in the movie of my life. I am so stressed all the time and it's not just money. It's our new puppy, it's where I live, it's the things that I do and say. Thinking about what I was going to write on here today has really got me thinking about my life for the past few months and how God is really convicting me right now. It's so sad and embarrassing to say that I don't depend on him enough, but it's true. I don't. I catch myself in a trance during the day just going through the motions when I should be conversing with him every day, every hour, every minute, every second. Instead, I put him on the back burner and when I realize that I'm not going to be able to pay a bill on time or let someone down, I pray. Wow! How childish and unchristian-like of me. It's like, "Hey God! I know that I have a problem and that I won't be able to pay this bill, but let me try to figure it out for myself and then when I realize I can't do it on my own, ask you for help." What a low blow. The great thing about God is...he is an Almighty, forgiving God and he knows I am a sinful, unworthy human and He knows I am going to keep failing Him. But it's not okay with me. It's not going to be a complete 180 degree turn around for me, but when is it ever? I can say this...I am more at home in my church now than I have ever been, Justin and I have started reading the Bible together every night (another embarrassing confession, we haven't been doing this and we have been married for a year and 4 months...), and I have been praying for my loved ones that don't know Christ and those who do. My walk-no-crawl with God is gradually picking up speed. I should be in a full on run with God--100MPH--if you will, right now I am at about a 3MPH crawl. Ouch. I pray that one day I will be where I need to be and that on judgement day I can tell God everything I have done for him. I pray I don't die anytime soon...not because I am scared of death or because I love it here on Earth, but because I am embarrassed of standing before someone so powerful and someone so worthy of praise and saying, "I have done nothing to expand Your Kingdom." So, here starts my slow 180 degree turn for God. No more trances. No more putting Him on the back burner. No more letting people down. No more.

7If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. -John 15:7

Thanks for reading!
Meg

Some People.

So, in the mornings I listen to Kidd Kraddick and I love his show. Yesterday he had Adam Lambert in the studio and they were talking about Lady Gaga fans versus his fans. Kidd then compared it to Chritianity versus Islamic beliefs.

Dear Kidd,

These can not be compared. End of story.

Thanks,
Meg

On another serious note...if anyone feels like being extremely nice next week, Prince of Persia comes out on Blu-Ray. I would love to own that movie. We could call it a really early birthday present if you want.

Thanks for reading!
Meg

Long time, No post.

So...it's been a while. I don't have any cool excuses like school or vacation or anything like that. I just didn't have much to write about.
Justin just got done cutting Jack's hair. It's crazy how much hair a 2.5 pound dog can have. Lately I have just been working and going to church. That's about all there is to do.

We have been in our new church for about a month now. I love it! With the new building, I decided it was time for some new beginnings, so Justin and I joined an adult bible fellowship class for marrieds-30. It has really opened my eyes to the bible and how it can really help in any situation. On Sunday, my heart was humbled when Mike taught us about how it isn't always about us. I know, I should have known this already, right? Well, I did, but my heart really ached when I realized what I could be doing to be more Christian like in society and in church. There is a woman in our class who is really inspiring. She is going through a really rough time trying to get her husband imported here legally from Columbia. There is a strong possiblity that he could be forced to go back to Columbia for 10 years to finish the process. This is something that I will never have to go through so I can't really imagine what she is going through, but I do know that I couldn't spend 10 years away from Justin. He is what brightens my day when I am having a bad one. 10 years of bad days would kill me! Anyway, to continue my story...we all gathered around her to pray for her.. two people prayed aloud and then she prayed. But when she prayed, she didn't lift up her own prayer requests, she lifted us up as her spiritual family, she prayed for the staff at church, she prayed for us in the class that all of our requests were answered. Wow...talk about taking the focus off of oneself. She really inspired me.

So now I have this "church camp attitude" but I plan for it to stay for a lifetime.

Thanks for reading!
Meg